The Freedom To Act ... Conditionally!

Once an adult, we are allowed to act independently in many ways. We can buy
cars, property, clothes and we can make commitments, but then, later on in life that freedom will be taken away. That time comes when sickness comes to us and when old age sets in.
Then doctors, the medical world, religious doctrine, corporations and government give us the rules we should abide by. Suddenly we are no longer deemed capable to act independently.
It wasn’t always that way. When did this process start? Probably many centuries ago, but that process has progressed more rapidly with the onset of the Industrial Revolution, it seems.
In more primitive times, people were allowed to walk up the mountain and “go it alone!”
Or communities with a deep respect for the elderly guided them through the end-of-Life process with grace and honor.
The aspect of Grace is hard to find, these days. Old folks with little more than their hearts pumping are left out of the inner circle of society. Many live in isolation with their relatives basically gone and care facility shareholders waiting for their next dividend check.

I have been pondering this situation. Why does this appear to be so?
And then it struck me: “Later on in life, are we afraid of making the life-and-death decisions ourselves or within the family circle? Are we suddenly fearful of the “End-of-Life” process and delegate the decision-making responsibility to others? Do others really know us better than we do ourselves? REALLY? It seems that way.
Doctors prescribe medicines, many times not knowing the effects they will have - a sophisticated guessing game, surgeons “cut-and-paste”, religious doctrine dictates, pharmaceutical companies convince us, insurance companies make medical decisions with their own profit picture in mind and government polices our lives in lots of ways. We can argue to what extent this scenario is completely or partially true, but most of it is happening. So we have in a significant way relinquished our independence and responsibility for our own health and well-being.

Is it time to wake up to that realization on a large scale and take back the territory lost?

Who is deciding for me?

Who’s playing God?

How is it in God’s name allowable that another person can decide for me when my life is complete?
Is that based on common sense, on religious doctrine, rules devised by a segment of “leaders” in their thirties or so, who feel compelled to put their very own stamp on society: “I have decided” or maybe even “we have decided” in a board room occupied by Heavy-Weights.

Who is playing God here?

Think about it: somebody coming to your house and telling you: “What you are doing in your very own home is not permitted! Why? because we have decided!”
Now think of your home as being your very own body. Then how preposterous would that comment sound? That’s what hospitals, public and religious ones alike do, to-day!

So, again, who is playing God?

See, the rich and famous have their ways and a tendency to dictate what is and is not allowable, but many of those individuals will find ways that suit them when beneficial to them, and then ignore the very rules set-up by them.

Who is playing God?

I am looking for leaders willing to take on the so-called established institutions and take on absurd rules and regulations in to-day’s world. Many talk about us living in a more enlightened society. Really?

Are some of these leaders playing God?

You decide and let’s start a discussion, a debate. Check-out www.compassionandchoices.org

Elegance, Style & Aging.

On a regular basis I drive people to clinics, hospitals and other health care related places. All of these folks have lost most of their capacity to drive. Their mobility is definitely on the wane. Walking is difficult, bicycling is out of the question. They don’t have partners who can do the driving for them.

With the loss of mobility, they are also losing the urge to dress carefully. They have lost the need to appeal to others regardless of sex. Many of them don’t even dress for the day. “Night gown and slippers will do fine. No one will be visiting me. No one I can think of, anyway. So what is the purpose of putting on clothes?”

And when these people do put on clothes for a trip to the doctor, their concern for appearance is very low on the totem pole. Male or female: they put on the first thing that comes to mind plus some non matching sneakers and they kind of do their hair. A man’s attention to facial hair has passed months ago and lipstick for the women is of no importance anymore.

I see this picture almost every week, and it was not too long ago that I realized that I too can fall in that “mode”. Nowadays I only wear jeans when I do chores and garden work. Not that I need to look attractive and kept for others. No, it is strictly for myself. I want to appear presentable.

I am no longer 25 or 50, when one can take liberties with one’s dress and garment. With age I have a feeling that I become less and less presentable and with that notion people around me may shun my presence. I am single and I do need my group of friends. Yes, I become more vulnerable. The youthfulness advertised all over is gone. Very few older folks can maintain that natural elegance and style, even if they were born with it. Many older folks now carry around that disheveled look no one seems to advertise as desirable.

So, for as long as I can, I’ll make an effort to be sensitive to my appearance and maybe I can carry it off. If not, well, then you know that I tried.

Technology and life as we know it!

7 Years ago, I refused to believe that I would ever own a cell phone. Shortly after that pronouncement I gave in (under pressure, kind of) and got this portable device and discontinued my land-line service. Now I just got introduced to an iPhone, and I wonder what will be next!

In the broader sense, in the middle of the nineteenth century we “discovered” electricity and began building our lives around that phenomenon. That change has, in my opinion, caused the most drastic impact on society. It started slowly and now one electronic advance is ”old” and outdated within months.

To-day, I had a discussion with a group of men in my local coffee shop on the consequences of this kind of high speed progress. Computers get smaller, phones can do what computers can do and much more, books can be read on line - no paper-back purchase needed, we have replaced bulky maps with built-in GPS-es, and we are speaking about cars being electronically guided along the highways while its passengers enjoy the sights, continue the family feud and being whisked to a far away destination.

What do we do with our “need” to be connected to this fabulous earth? Remember our ancestors using a shovel and a rake working the land? I do recall a brief moment in my life - 8 consecutive school vacation summers on THE farm in the 1940s, where I got my hands dirty and my muscles tired.

To-day, I hear stories of parents requesting for their children 32” TV at the place of vacation. How about the kids, who virtually lock themselves into their rooms with music plugs in their ears and their fingers manipulating electronic game devices. We now have cars and airlines providing us with entertainment and we move from place to place without “hitting” the out-doors.

Are we removing ourselves and our off-spring from that life my parents used to know? They knew where the potatoes and the cauliflower came from. They have seen frogs and spiders in the wild. They had conversations or debates and took long walks in the rain - well, by now, you know what I am concerned about.

I am looking forward to a change in our awareness, a slow down in our life styles and a return to the appreciation for the simple things in life: A cup of hot chocolate on the front porch with the family enjoying the sunset and the humming birds taking a late night sip on the sugar water feeder. And then ... then everyone goes to sleep with the chickens. Will we ever see this type of life again?

To-day's hospital?

I am volunteering for a number of organizations and occasionally have to wait for a patient in the lobby of a hospital. What is it like as an outsider to be there and to experience that world?

Automatic sliding doors give entry to a marble floored lobby with soft light and a relaxed operator behind a luxurious counter. The lady is more than willing to direct me to anywhere. The chairs in the waiting room area remind me more of an expensive hotel or a lawyer’s office than a place where the sick get a chance to get better - that’s at least the intent. Nurses stroll around in colorful uniforms with charts under their arms. There is nowhere a real sense of urgency.

On one TV-screen I notice the show “General Hospital” with soft intrigue, making up part of the muted noise. From time to time an ad comes on - an ad for medicine described by the sexy voice from a lady. In the distance, I hear live piano playing, yes, live piano playing.

In front of me on the wall another TV with announcements for the OR-Manager. Then a loud “Beep-Beep” suddenly demands all the attention and breaks the almost silence: “Code Blue ... “ and then follows something unintelligible. Minutes later, equally loud: “Cancel code Blue - E.D.-minor, E.D.-minor!”, whatever that means.

Oh yes, a third TV-screen tells me that I may qualify for a special scooter for increased mobility. And the piano player keeps on bringing sweet tunes to the halls for background comfort. I almost wonder where the bar and the swimming pools are.

Occasionally a recently released patient is being picked up by family member or maybe a volunteer like me. I am suddenly made aware of the first sign of infirmary: a wheel chair with a nurse, but no patient.

I look around and see only one other person in the lobby. This hospital is a quiet place. Not the frantic image from my past. Is this now typical for a place for urgent care? This seems unreal, even ridiculous. Really amazing how this institution has changed over the past 50 years, and small wonder the cost for health care has risen so dramatically.

Aging, just plain aging!

Every morning when I wake up I am almost always amazed that everything is still “working”, kind of. When I have completed my morning floor exercises my body is working even better. But my knees aren’t what they used to be, though I am still hopeful that through pure determination and supplemental ingredients I can lift them to a higher “standard”. Alright, I won’t mention the other slight physical draw backs that occur after sixty!

What I would like to draw attention to is the way the very old, in my opinion, are suffering. There comes a point when one can no longer “operate” independently. That is inevitable, but the way we, in this society deal with that phase of life is worrisome. On a regular basis I visit nursing homes and I volunteer for Hospice, and what I observe is not pretty. Let’s be honest: the sight is NOT pretty!

I get rather emotional when I see these poor folks lying in chairs without a voice - you know the voice that you and I have. A voice with which I can speak up and protest when necessary. And I wonder why these people are still waking up every day. For what reason, for whom? The relatives are away, sometimes far away, the nursing home employees fulfill their daily functions admirably, but it is a routine - not a family love affair, the nurses and doctors come and go with stethoscope and medicine, and the meals are many times only partially consumed. A tragic sight, and I want this society to do something about it, but the chances for action in my life time are not good.

Yes, we need to make a “U-turn”.

The medical world - the doctors, the nurses need to start to protest. Questions need to be raised, such as: Why do we let those folks go on living? Don’t tell me that they still want to live, because that is highly unlikely, most of the time. I have heard “patients” say to me: “Life stinks!” I have seen and been with people who sit listless next to me - motionless. Some roll their eyes, some mumble something, no one knows what.

.... and the nursing home personnel dutifully does its duty, while the family members are mostly far away in body and mind.

Quite frankly ... Oh, I better not tell you what I really think about this. What do YOU think should be done? Now is the time to speak up. You still can!

A needed C-change!

Lara Logan "60 Minutes" violation revelations need to be repeated over and over again on every possible visual medium, because we, the people need to initiate a C-change! We shouldn't fool ourselves, because women in this and other countries are being casually and repeatedly violated with a certain sense of permission - look at internet pornography, look at the slick commercial advertisement everywhere.

Men over the many years in the past have grown accustomed that violating women is an acceptable aspect in our and other societies. Women's attitude hasn't helped in halting this deteriorating process. Be honest, and let's make that C-change happen and everyone, including the women need to help.

Thanks Lara and 60 Minutes for making a start at this "revolution"!